Who is (are) the Biggest Fraud(s): Manti T'eo, Ronaiah Tuiasosopo, Journalists, or Us?

We knew he could tackle (except against Alabama). We knew he had a knack for coming up with interceptions in key moments. We knew he is a Morman from Hawaii. We thought we knew that All-American linebacker and Heisman finalist Manti T’eo played his senior season at Notre Dame in the midst of considerable grief. But then this Deadspin story came out—during the same week as Lance Armstrong's confession—and set off one of the strangest stories in my lifetime.

There is still probably more to learn about all this, and the facts are muddled in a way that could probably only happen with our dependence upon social media and corporate public relations. As Chuck Klosterman pointed out on Grantland, we seem to have three options for how this thing will turn out:

1. T'eo was a completely-innocent victim of a Catfish-like hoax. Yes, I did take it upon myself to watch the movie over the weekend, by the way, and I noticed one major difference: Nev Schulman figured the scheme out quite quickly, unlike T'eo, supposedly. If this option is really true, then T'eo at least needs some guidance in "digital citizenship." 

2. T'eo was initially fooled (by Ronaiah Tuiasosopo, apparently), but even after he discovered the truth he continued to embellish the narrative.  

3. T'eo was completely complicit in the supposed hoax (for motivations that aren't yet clear). 

I should admit to being a Notre Dame fan before saying I lean toward the second option, which does nothing to diminish how disturbing this all is. So many questions, it seemed, weren't asked by T’eo’s  family, friends, and coaches, let alone prominent sports journalists (some of which noticed discrepancies and kept printing it anyway.)

How long had T'eo been dating this woman? If it was serious, why wasn't she at Notre Dame at least for a few games? When, if ever, did he see her? When and where did he meet her? Why was he dating a girl in California even though he’s from Hawaii and attends school in Indiana? That we could possibly believe such a thing certainly testifies to our hopes for a placeless existence, but those details were always foggy, which now makes sense since it seems like the girl doesn’t even exist.

If T’eo really had been close to her, would skipping a funeral really be a good option? What was his relationship like with the family? Wouldn't he have any say as to when the funeral was scheduled? In any experiences I’ve had with romantic relationships, it seems like common practice for family and friends to eventually meet and interact with the girlfriend. None of these people grew suspicious over the course of a couple years? Come on. And if it really was purely an online relationship, could we take his grief all that seriously?

If he has lied about all this, why? He's a potential top-ten pick in the draft; it's like pissing on a winning lottery ticket. And for what gain? A Heisman boost? I’m not so sure that anyone, T’eo included, would have been so bold and foolish to think he had a legit shot at the Heisman that early in the season (before the week 3 win over Michigan State), particularly as a defensive player on a team that hadn't previously won more than eight games in any season during T'eo's tenure at Notre Dame. 

I am really struck by how much people seem to cheer--with no real evidence, of course--for the "Manti T'eo is gay" theory. Would it suddenly be acceptable that T'eo may have repeatedly lied to the nation and used grief as a manipulative tool if he were gay and using the scheme to cover up his sexuality? Major publications even even explored these questions: Grantland, the Huffington Post, etc. Obviously, I understand that people are trying to get at motive and that the gay community is searching for a "star" to prop up as a token. But it also seemed like if the theory was proven correct, T'eo would have more sympathy coming his way, while if he's heterosexual, then we'll treat him with mockery and condemnation. I'm not so sure that even if the theory were true, it would somehow absolve us of the complications of this story. Something in between the extreme responses seems appropriate no matter what Te'o's sexuality is. 

Now, I heard T'eo out when he spoke, just like I listened to Notre Dame Athletic Director Jack Swarbrick’s press conference. Swarbrick certainly didn’t have to fully support T’eo, but he did, and I suppose that says something, but I’m not sure what. Guess I, like you, will keep following the story.

But let’s set aside the T’eo mystery for a minute. A situation such as this one poses equally-important questions about us, as a society, as a people, as a culture. Why did it take a little-known "new media" outlet to expose this story for the fraud that it at least partially was? Did someone tip Deadspin off or were they just more willing to ask hard questions?

I realized my own biggest question when I read Malcolm Gladwell's. Not how could Manti believe all this nonsense, but how did we? Manti's young, not quite 22, still has an NFL career ahead of him. He may very well recover from this. But what is wrong with us? Twitter girlfriend? By the star football player at Notre Dame? She died of Leukemia? He didn't go to the funeral? Couldn't provide pictures for a Gene Wojciechowski article? And we have too much "sympathy" to ask the questions? 

As a whole, we're suckers for cheap, feel-good, sentimental stories. Just like the wrestler who let a boy with celebral palsy beat him, we ate this narrative about T'eo up. We love to pity people, don't we? Notre Dame fans or not, we couldn't get enough of the poor football player who lost his grandma and girlfriend but pushed through the pain to lead his team to the National Championship for the first time in 24 years. As Gladwell points out, it's practically straight out of your favorite bad sports movie.

I certainly wasn’t ever audacious enough to disbelieve Teo’s story before the Deadspin piece, but I can honestly say that the death-of-the-girlfriend story, which just refused to go away, never really moved me. And I think it’s because it never really seemed to me like he was all that broken up about it himself. Even the scene at the Michigan pep rally seemed contrived. And the theme of the stories was always more about toughness and overcoming than it was T’eo’s sorrow.

To push even further, what I had a hard time believing all season wasn't so much the girlfriend stuff as it was the image he projected. Like Tim Tebow, he was the "perfect" role model. Always does the right thing. Everything that's good about college football. The boy you want your daughter to marry. We live in a world in which we’re taught to project ourselves in that way. There are no limits; surely, we are more than clay-footed humans! I am as capable as anyone of playing along.

Outside the world of football, we use words like “professionalism” to describe this myth. We get really good at performing. You're never supposed to get upset, never supposed to make a mistake. And if you do either of those things, at least do the decent thing and not admit it. But our hubris has a way of showcasing itself in the worst ways if we aren't honest and transparent about our failures the first time around. 


Question(s) for the reader: Which parts of this story do you think still need to be told? What is most interesting to you about the whole thing? How guilty is T'eo?